How do I love myself when everyone points out my flaws in my face?
Do I need to change as they say?
Is there something wrong with me? Am I not good enough?
Am I the words they say I am?
These are some examples of all the million questions we ask ourselves but are often left unanswered. But how can we truly love ourselves? Ever since I was a kid, I am one of the fat kids.
Some kids call me names, but I just shrugged it off because they told me it was just a joke. It was never a problem for me, but when I went to high school everything changed.
As I grew older, people around me always tell me that I’ll look even prettier when I lose some weight. To them, it may seem that they are encouraging me, but to me, it feels like they just found another way of saying I look fat.
That’s why I decided to face this during the quarantine. Since we don’t have anything to do, I started to exercise. After a month or two, I lost 10 lbs. I was very happy until one person told me nothing changed.
At that moment, so many reasons popped into my head why I should stop. But I didn’t. I’m glad I didn’t because there I found an answer to the question of why it was so hard to love myself.
It was hard for me to accept me but it was so easy for their words to hurt because I let it become the way I see myself. I lost my own voice, my own judgment about who I really am because I was blinded by the names they call me.
Why do I let them label me something that I’m not? The answer as to how to love myself was within me all along: I have to change my judgment about me and start treating me with kindness.
I need to accept my flaws, without forgetting my strengths. I need to stop letting their opinion of me become my opinion of me. So, starting today I will not surround myself with persons who hinder my growth. I will be who I want to be.
As for you, I will leave this poem I wrote about myself, and may this be what you say to yourself today.
I’m sorry for being too late
Because I was full of such hate
I know you did not deserve it
But at that time I can’t admit it
Blinded by the words they said
I became a fool instead
This time I won’t take you for granted
And I will not be distracted
I will love you first self
And that’s the start of good health.
In this world where negativity, hate, and harsh words are more frequently heard and said, be the first one to change it and start doing it to yourself. No one has to treat you badly, including yourself.
May your journey, even though rough and difficult, be the thing that makes you appreciate you and your scars.
Aira Guia is a simple, young, conservative Filipina who is determined to inspire her readers. Although she majored in Accounting, her passion for writing and her faith in God & all good things is what fuels her to create pieces that would hopefully encourage people to love & accept themselves and empower others to become their best version.