When you are in a relationship, it is easy to let yourself fall hard without knowing the bottom ground. You have blinded over the pleasant feeling that your partner offers to you and falsely accused it as love. There are several signs that I learned about a toxic relationship which you should be aware too;
1. They are controlling your action
They are taking control of every little action you did and tell you what is right and what’s not based on their preferences in the relationship. You will have a little chance to vocalize what your preferences are because their presence is too dominant for you to handle.
2. They make you feel horrible about yourself
When you do something wrong, they will blame you and make you think that all you ever did is wrong. It is different from saying, “Look, I am hurt because of your action. Can you try to fix it?” with “You intentionally did this to make me hurt, right? Do you ever think of my needs? You are a bad person”.
That kind of sentence is called gaslighting and it’s one of the toxic traits of a toxic person that can harm your well-being. They will make you feel guilty, thinking you are the villain of the relationship, while in fact, you try to make things work.
3. They make you feel that you are not good enough
You will try to fulfill their needs and still not make them satisfied. Ironically, they become more demanding towards you and make you do things which you may find uncomfortable, while the truth is, you both just two people with different levels of needs. And it is not your fault when you cannot keep up. A healthy relationship will make both of you try to discuss every problem and come out with a middle ground for each other.
4. They drain your energy out
They are annoyed by little things and seldom disturb your emotions. Even when you are in the argument with each other, they rarely hear your needs. They make the argument feel like a competition. They will try to win the argument instead of winning the relationship. Even when your energy is already drained out, they might put more pressure to it.
5. You lost yourself because of them
You lost yourself while busily trying to be enough for them. You will lose your time, energy, purpose, and money for them. You drift apart from your family, siblings, friends, and place them as your only person whom you will serve right.
6. You cannot enjoy the relationship anymore
You may not be aware of it but there is some kind of a burden for yourself while in a relationship with them. You may feel short term happiness, but no joy. You may feel right, but there is a room deep down in your heart that tells you that you are not enjoying this relationship like it used to be.
There is no certain measurement of any relationship you have in life, but one thing for sure, a healthy relationship never makes you wonder whether it is good or not. You will enjoy every second of it without questioning your worth, which leads you to have positive self-growth.
On the other hand, if you feel that the relationship you have is disturbing your happiness, even make you feel like a bad person toward the other person, you should stop blaming yourself. Because a failed relationship is not about who is at fault, but rather, there are just two people with different levels of needs.
The scary thing about all of the points above is you can be conscious about it but still in denial, or you can be completely unconscious about it. It is important to take some time to evaluate and check again your relationship. Is it healthy for you? Does it help you to develop your personal growth? If it is not, then you already know the answer.
Have you ever experienced a toxic relationship? Comment below to share and discuss together about it!
About the Author:
A strong believer that words can break someone, but also can save many. Passionate to share lots of positivity on self-love & embracing human feelings, behavior, and interaction. Let’s grow together, we are here to encourage each other. Reach her through Instagram:
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