I walked pass the savoring pack of chips in the convenient store,
I picked out a Milo can from the fridge,
I saw my reflection after I close the door,
To my surprise, I even flinched.
My mind shouted how I hate myself for all mistakes I’ve made,
my anxiety outburst comparing myself to everyone I’ve met,
my pride disgustingly criticize myself in any way I could,
I shall be my biggest hater even when I shouldn’t.
But isn’t that how we felt about ourselves?
The words tingling, ringing in my mind;
It’s too loud, I can’t see clearly,
the tears on my eyes make it more blurry.
I slid slowly under the CCTV,
no, not this time, have a mercy.
Don’t get hard to yourself.
It used to be on the bathroom floor
or maybe a large mirror core.
Sometimes, it’s an Instagram scroll.
Even worse when I have a play role.
It haunted me most of the time,
but I’m not dealing with it for this time.
You are enough, don’t let anyone tell you different,
even if it’s yourself.
You want to use the “I don’t even know myself!”?
Use it now.
You don’t even know how tired your inner self with;
your insecurities, your self-blame, your anxiety.
It’s not anyone else,
it’s yourself that is already done with itself.
For once and make it permanent,
accept and love the way you are.
You’re also a human being.
Please don’t lose yourself again.
Please have a joy a little bit,
Don’t you know how good it feels to be loved?
Now try it to yourself.
“Are you okay?”
asked the cashier who has been checking on the CCTVs.
The moment I put the Milo back in the fridge to pick up a new one,
the exact time I smiled even wider than when I got my parking,
that’s the time I said
“I get this.”
And for this time I meant it.
As I was about to pay my Milo,
I grab a bag of chips.
I am a teenager who was raised by a single father. I’m very keen on reading poems especially if it’s about love. I like to write and make videos as some ways to express my thoughts and feelings. I am interested with crime and thriller movies because it is one of the way to make me think differently. I wished I could be a good English teacher one day. Reach Damia through her Instagram: